Unusual Pet

"I will feed it, I will water it, I will look at it..."

Its bulging eyes ogled in opposite directions.

"BUT I AIN'T TOUCHIN' IT!"

Keeping a suspicious eye on it, I stole along the pantry door and stuck my hand inside.

"You're ugly!" I whispered, pouring a mangled steel dish full of stale brown chunks from a big bag.

The portly thing stood. Wrinkles clothed its body like a sloppy skirt that bounced when it waddled, a fat tail three times the length of its body dragged behind it. I sprang onto the counter and perched there until it buried its dreadful little face in the bowl and then crawled to the other end and sat. Inches behind me, the telephone suddenly shrieked and startled me off my roost, planting me face down on the tile.

The floppy face glanced back. I scrambled onto the counter and snatched up the phone.

"Rhee residence!"

"Eun Jung, it's me. Just wanted to let you know I'm leaving the airport for the hospital now."

"Okay. Keep me posted."

The creature watched me over its plump shoulder with one big eye.

"I can't thank you enough for watching Jeffrey."

Jeffrey licked half its face with a long flat tongue and looked away.

"I hate it, Mi-na!" I clutched the phone. "It's REALLY creepy!"

"You don't have to stay there."

"It ate my keys."

"To what? My house? Your house? Your car?"

"And my phone."

"Use the house phone to call someone."

"I rely on speed dial! Your phone is useless! Besides everyone with a car is out of town. It's too far to walk, and now... I'm trapped for two days… with IT."

"Hide in the master bedroom then."

I chewed my fingernails.

"What if it eats the door?"

"It won't eat the door."

"It's eaten everything else, why not the door?"

"You're being silly. Look, I have to go. Keep his water full. He drinks a lot."

"Mi-na, wait—! Oooooh."

I hung up the phone and whimpered.

The beast chomped with powerful jaws but I knew it was listening: one of its velvety triangle ears were angled back. Hugging my knees, I rested my chin forlornly.

"As soon as you finish, I'm filling my arms with food and locking myself in the master bedroom. I should bring the broom. I'll need a weapon to defend myself when I come out to refill your water, you bristly bottomless pit of slobber."

"If that's your attitude," said Jeffrey, "then you better bring the shovel because I no longer plan to go easy on you."